Is Mario Lopez Gay or Not ? – A quick poll …

Good company and the eternal question of  celebrities in the closet: Mario Lopez is not alone.  And by that we mean he is not the first or last to live his life  in a way that make people ask whether he is gay or not.  Adam Lambert of American Idol fame did it with insouciant aplomb for the price of a song.  Other celebrities do it  with less ostentation and deny it in terms most stentorian  when the rumor mills start whirring. The punchline is not lost on those in the know and are, by default,  party to the charade. Those in the know are, for our purposes, other un-closeted gay celebrities. They often interact with and support their closeted counterparts under an implicit “don’t ask don’t tell”  pact.  It’s a parallel universe and we,  by design or default,   all  live in it. Short of someone forcibly outing someone, this is knowledge that is unofficially classified. This means that it is  kept under wraps until such a time as its release won’t hurt or compromise anyone.

Does this matter in the larger scheme of things? Not at all.  But is it a legitimate subject for “mindless  pop-cultural kvetching”?  Absolutely!

With that out of the way please check out our take on Mario Lopez, in  this linked Cyberaxis post (for  what its worth):

cyberaxis.wordpress.com/2008/10/24/on-mario-lopez-and-coming-out/

Straight as a ramrod or gay as the morning sun? Mario Lopez, cuff-links, dimples & all.

Now concentrate as if  your life depended on it and vote your gaydar impressions. “Extra! Extra!”  Click on the console below to cast your indispensable vote:

Uber-curvaceous Goddess: Just what the love doctor ordered for Mario Lopez.

For up-to-the-minute results of the polling, please click on the console.

Our Sacred  Campaign Promise: We will keep the poll going till Mario gets married and has seven swarthy babies in vivo with a caliente chica with humongous nalgas and monstrous  chichis. Did we say “caliente chica with humongous nalgas and monstrous chichis?”

Perhaps that has been one of Mario Lo’s  problem. Karina Smirnoff was mucho caliente, but she did not have the aforementioned  humongous nalgas and monstrous chichis.  And she nearly gouged Mario’s  eyes out with her bare you-know-what during an exhibition  date on the beach  fer crying out loud .  Come into our  evidence room.

Exhibit One: Beach bums, Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff, hot as a Michoacana campfire. Copyright: Kadena Pix/Griffinonline.com

Exhibit 2: Staring Blindness in the Eye - During an attempted Dirty Dancing hoist, Mario loses his balance and finds himself starring into the naked you-know-what of then dance partner and purported girlfriend, Karina Smirnoff. From where we sit, Mario Lopez does his darndest to avoid being gouged. Copyright: Kadena Pix/Griffinonline.com.

Exhibit Three: The log toss seen around the world ..... after Mario refused to entertain the prospect of life as an un-seeing hunk. Copyright: Kadena Pix/Griffinonline.com.

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